Little is known about President Umbukelele but these Foreign Office briefing notes were left on a photocopier in Rymans and found their way into our hands.
LIKES
The smell of cut grass and/or Burning rubber.
SUGGESTED TOPICS OF CONVERSATION
Reasons for bacon going so well with avocado
TOPICS TO AVOID
Metal (No further information available)
MENU
Please note the President is a vegetarian but he will eat: fish, all plastics, wood (including veneers), furniture (not art deco), veal.
OFFICIAL RECEPTION - GUEST LIST
The President has requested the following people are present at the official reception:
Ken Follett - Novelist
"The bloke in the Admiral Insurance advert"
Reg Presley &ndash Lead Singer of the Troggs
Monty Don
Anna Ford (But the one from 1978)
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