Q. What are the ten commandments?

A. First of all I know a lot of cats say there are ten commandments but you'd best believe there are only nine. That adultery one was invented by Moses. He chipped it out on the way down to stop his wife foolin' around. So here are the nine commandments with my commentary where I lay it out for y'all

• 1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. People have accused me of worshipping women more than god but the bottom line is you can have as many women as you want but you can only have one god.
• 2. Thou shalt have no false idols. Say you got yourself a real fine ride - like a '73 Caddillac, fully loaded. Now you can polish that car and clean the leather upholstery and rims all you want, that's fine. But as soon as you start talking to that car or praying to it you got yourself a problem right there.
• 3. Thou shalt not take the goddamn Lord's name in vain goddammit. This is so goddamn obvious I ain't gonna waste my goddamn time with no goddamn explanation godammit.

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